Review: Sex At Dawn

4 stars. For all my friends desperate to know the correlation between testicle size and mating habits - THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!!

After years of bouncing around and trying to find my identity as a sexually active adolescent and young adult, I've come to the conclusion that the human brain is too complex to be able to match perfectly with another's for an entire lifetime. There's just no way the perfect puzzle piece - or just one perfect puzzle piece - exists. And I'm happily married. [“Is it so very obvious that you can’t love more than one person?"]

I do sort of buy into the idea of love, and long-term companionship, but for me all that is largely separate from sex. I guess it's no surprise then to admit that I found myself nodding along with a lot of what's said here.

That being said, I'm not totally convinced that everything in this book is true, accurate or factual. I'm not totally convinced it's even objective. My thoughts on monogamy could be attributed to, quite frankly, "commitment issues," or even more likely, confirmation bias. But I think it's good to ask questions about this stuff. Because the world is very big and I refuse to believe my way is the right way - or the only way.

"Could it be that the atomic isolation of the husband-wife nucleus with an orbiting child or two is in fact a culturally imposed aberration for our species—as ill-suited to our evolved tendencies as corsets, chastity belts, and suits of armor? Dare we ask whether mothers, fathers, and children are all being shoe-horned into a family structure that suits none of us? Might the contemporary pandemics of fracturing families, parental exhaustion, and confused, resentful children be predictable consequences of what is, in truth, a distorted and distorting family structure inappropriate for our species?"

I am absolutely fascinated by the subject matter and will be exploring further. The authors make many, many compelling and well-written points tracing our problematic view of human sexuality throughout history. ALL of history. Cavemen included. We get to explore primate behavior, learn about isolated tribes, tackle the concepts of patriarchy and jealousy head on...

"Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy. Got that, fellas? If you’re unhappy at the amount of sexual opportunity in your life, don’t blame the women. Instead, make sure they have equal access to power, wealth, and status. Then watch what happens."

...highlight the inadequacies and prejudices of anthropologists, etc. Actually, one of this book's strongest features, I think, is its ability to explain these inadequacies with valid conclusions about each philosopher, scientist, anthropologist's point of view. Instead of criticizing ignorance, these authors explain it. That was refreshing.

It's also accessible. Definitely academic at times, but concise and to the point and strongly written for those of us not ridiculously educated.

I docked a star because I want more, which is not necessarily a criticism. I found the book to be one-sided, with a primary focus on male traits and behaviors, and I also found it to be somewhat outdated. I would love to see an update that includes an exploration of dating apps, sex work, etc. I would love to see something more inclusive that looks at queer relationships - though not ignored in this study, I think there's a larger place for them here. And I would like to see a look at the darker side of sex - rape, sex crimes, violent fetishes, etc. For both men and women.

Anyway, I suppose I could talk about this for hours. I loved it, although there's a teeny tiny part of me that thinks maybe this was written by a dude looking to provide the world's greatest excuse for cheating. Maybe because my husband's response to the passage about testicles was a delighted "MY BALLS ARE SMART!!" *eye roll*

It's fascinating, though. We've gone wrong in a lot of ways.

Sex At Dawn on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Return of the King

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 07 / 12

5 stars. I keep recalling the time when someone close to me said that the first time he read the Lord of the Rings, he ended up reading at stoplights. This was when the books were first published. This person is gone, but thinking about that makes me smile.

What a classic, imaginative, incredible, accomplished piece of writing. So much invention. It goes so deep and wide! I love that Tolkien never loses his playful tone. I'm going to make an effort to re-read these more often and more carefully. They're like delicious brain food.

I know this story very well; by heart, even. But I still felt breathless during the battles and nervous before the end. It has a really weird ending, but I loved the Appendices. And the maps. We are so lucky to have this story. I feel honored to have walked side-by-side with these resilient characters.

I mentioned in my review of the first book that I'm aware of the imperfections. There are clearly some issues and as many, many, many have said - the writing style is not for everyone. But I'd recommend this to anyone thirsty for foundation fantasy. It's worth it.

Re-reading these books has also given me a new appreciation for the film adaptations - I had no idea that they pulled so much (so much language, so many direct quotes) from the text. And I also completely support their narrative adjustments and just LOVE THEM EVEN MORE NOW.

I wish I could choose just one passage, or one component, and go crazy. I want to write twenty pages on the Madness of Denethor, thirty on orcs. I want to do a deep dive into Ent lore and how Tolkien aggressively demands respect for trees. I want to pick apart Eowyn's fears and flaws.

These books inspire obsession, so watch out.

On to the next, reluctantly.

The Return of the King on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Security

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

3 stars. The grand opening of a state-of-the-art resort approaches, and someone is determined to stop it. In this twisty thriller, readers will witness a gruesome and relentless murder spree through the eyes of the hotel's new and advanced security system - an unusual point of view that lends itself to many surprises.

As someone who has read countless thrillers and can pretty much predict twists and turns chapters before they happen, I found the plot of this book to be very boring. BUT. I really enjoyed the perspective from which this story was told. We don't know anything about our observer until the last quarter of the book, when we can finally piece the clues together and discover the truth. It's weird but intriguing - and by the end, I was more desperate to find out the fate of the observer more than the fate of those he observed throughout the entire book.

It's a fascinating creative exercise. As readers, we must constantly ask ourselves - does appearance fit reality? can we trust our narrator? can we trust our own impressions of what's happening in the story? are we watching things unfold from an unbiased perspective? And here - despite being spoon-fed tiny details about our narrator - we really have no idea. Is he good? Is he bad? Is he even alive? Is he a piece of artificial intelligence? It's all a mystery.

Also fascinating - when characters who are not even remotely admirable have an admirable purpose. Our narrator here (as it turns out) is obsessive and overly protective of the object of his affection - I mean, creepy doesn't even cover it. AND YET. He desires - almost above anything else - to save the object of his affection from a terrifying threat. It's confusing. And interesting. Very unique.

I guess I was a little too caught up in how the story was told over the story itself. I like an unreliable narrator. And in this book, the concept was applied with a great twist. Read for the point of view. It's different.

Security on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Two Towers

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 06 / 12

5 stars. Blindingly wonderful. Honestly, team Samwise all the way. This was his book.

Favorite moments:

1. Treebeard burn:

"He is plotting to become a Power. He has a mind of metal and wheels; and he does not care for growing things, except as far as they serve him for the moment."

2. On feeling out of your depth:

"And here he was a little halfling from the Shire, a simple hobbit of the quiet countryside, expected to find a way where the great ones could not go, or dared not go. It was an evil fate. But he had taken it on himself in his own sitting-room in the far-off spring of another year, so remote now that it was like a chapter in a story of the world’s youth, when the Trees of Silver and Gold were still in bloom. This was an evil choice. Which way should he choose? And if both led to terror and death, what good lay in choice?"

3. On the importance of sleep:

“Sam drew a deep breath. ‘An Oliphaunt it was!’ he said. ‘So there are Oliphaunts, and I have seen one. What a life! But no one at home will ever believe me. Well, if that’s over, I’ll have a bit of sleep.’"

4. Told you this was Sam's book:

"Sam did not wait to wonder what was to be done, or whether he was brave, or loyal, or filled with rage. He sprang forward with a yell, and seized his master’s sword in his left hand. Then he charged. No onslaught more fierce was ever seen in the savage world of beasts, where some desperate small creature armed with little teeth, alone, will spring upon a tower of horn and hide that stands above its fallen mate."

The Two Towers on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: The Changeling

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. I can't stop thinking about this incredible book. Victor LaValle successfully blended his primary ingredients - the essence of ancient folklore, the threat of modern technology, the emotional chaos of parenthood - into a truly intimate and truly intense fairy tale for adults. It is unsetting and disturbing, told at an invigorating pace with an astonishingly matter-of-fact tone.

The plot is simple: Apollo Kagwa, a rare book dealer and new father, must face demons both literal and metaphorical when his wife kills his baby and disappears. His diligent search for answers takes him down a rabbit hole full of ancient traditions, monsters, offerings, and threats both human and supernatural.

It is ridiculously compelling. There is social commentary and satire and humor and a dramatic climax. The twists and turns aren't exactly unpredictable but they provoke bone-deep shock anyway. LaValle's writing is simple but peppered with meta bombs like, "A bad fairy tale has some simple goddamn moral. A great fairy tale tells the truth." And later, related: "Even if you choose to ignore the truth, the truth still changes you." I admired the moments that felt so reminiscent of fairy tales - I found myself leaning forward, eyes glued to the page, as though listening and waiting and hoping for the "happily ever after."

The book examines huge themes such as racism, fatherhood, technology, greed, loss. LaValle had an agenda, a message, and he cloaked it admirably in horror. Each reader will no doubt draw something different from the complex undertones. To me, I would say, the biggest one, the one I inhaled and absorbed, was this: listen to women. Please, please, please listen to women.

And maybe put a piece of electrical tape over your laptop's camera.

The Changeling on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Girl Through Glass

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

New York, summer of 1977. A young girl is accepted into the School of American Ballet and relishes the pressure it offers as an escape from her complicated family life. In the present day, a professor attempts to navigate her current life upon receiving a letter from the past.

I really liked this book. Here's why:

It was written carefully, as though every word was mulled over three times before being chosen. I think it really shows when an author puts so much effort into creating language that flows. It's impressive. It shows a commitment to the reader, and an appreciation for the aesthetics of a novel. 

It demonstrates consistent tone, sophisticated vocabulary, convincing imagery, reasonable characterizations, and a balanced plot. There's nothing more dissatisfying than a poorly-crafted story. Books can have interesting plots and boring characters, or fantastic writing and sloppy plot construction. Luckily, this book is well-balanced.

It sends a genuine message without being preachy. Somewhere between the lines there is a cautionary tale here. It's not obvious, it's not in your face (this is my interpretation - I'm sure others thought it openly glared). Yes, there is an agenda, but the author allows the story to speak for itself.

It captures a complicated aspect of life to which I can relate. I don't think it's a coincidence that Mira went into academia. Just because she stopped dancing doesn't mean she lost her quest for recognition, perfection, etc. The anxiety and effort that goes into being the best - there's nothing like it, and she went from one obsessive, competitive field to another. This book contains the most accurate portrayal of this type of competition that I've encountered. It's eerily correct in its descriptions.

This is not a happy book, but it's a fascinating one. It's dark and very thought-provoking.

Girl Through Glass on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Fellowship of the Ring

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 05 / 12

5 stars. Simply. Perfect. I don't think I can write a review of this. It's too challenging to communicate how lucky I feel visiting Middle Earth again.

Favorite moments:

1. The Black Rider sniffing for the ring. What a badass detail.

"The riding figure sat quite still with its head bowed, as if listening. From inside the hood came a noise as of someone sniffing to catch an elusive scent; the head turned from side to side of the road."

2. Tom Bombadil.

"He then told them many remarkable stories, sometimes half as if speaking to himself, sometimes looking at them suddenly with a bright blue eye under his deep brows. Often his voice would turn to song, and he would get out of his chair and dance about. He told them tales of bees and flowers, the ways of trees, and the strange creatures of the Forest, about the evil things and good things, things friendly and things unfriendly, cruel things and kind things, and secrets hidden under brambles."

3. Reading this and picturing the scariest movie moment of my childhood.

"To his distress and amazement he found that he was no longer looking at Bilbo; a shadow seemed to have fallen between them, and through it he found himself eyeing a little wrinkled creature with a hungry face and bony groping hands. He felt a desire to strike him."

4. Lothlorien.

“As soon as he set foot upon the far bank of Silverlode a strange feeling had come upon him, and it deepened as he walked on into the Naith: it seemed to him that he had stepped over a bridge of time into a corner of the Elder Days, and was now walking in a world that was no more. In Rivendell there was memory of ancient things; in Lórien the ancient things still lived on in the waking world. Evil had been seen and heard there, sorrow had been known; the Elves feared and distrusted the world outside: wolves were howling on the wood’s borders: but on the land of Lórien no shadow lay."

5. When Boromir tries to take the ring and it feels shocking and inevitable at the same time.

"‘Ah! The Ring!’ said Boromir, his eyes lighting. ‘The Ring! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing?"

So good.

Per internet tradition, it seems that this book is a bit polarizing and people either love it or hate it (like ... to the death). I acknowledge that the writing is dull in places; that the black-and-white depiction of good versus evil is problematic; that there are sexist undertones; that the worldbuilding occasionally hurtles beyond playful into pretentious territory; etc etc. I recognize its flaws but feel as though its merits outweigh them.

All that stuff aside, I don't know what took me so long to pick up these books again. The escape offered here is of immeasurable value, to me. I want to crawl into the world of these words and curl up there forever.

The Fellowship of the Ring on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Maestra

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. So, Maestra tells the story of Judith Rashleigh, art expert and expert murderess. She spends her days toiling away as a junior employee at an art house and her nights at a creepy hostess bar being paid to satisfy customers with her company. Upon discovering her shady boss’ shady fraud scheme, Judith goes on a rampage of sorts - a sweaty spree hopping from country to country leaving dead bodies and fake names in her wake. It’s wonderful and sneaky and fun. Maestra is zesty! It is zesty Italian with extra zing. The pace, the drama, the bloodshed, the sex - delightful - the most enjoyable reading experience I’ve had in a long time.

It certainly isn’t perfect; Judith displays some incredibly contradictory personality traits. It’s absolutely, one hundred percent unrealistic. It’s superficial. Still, there is strong writing in the “art parts,” which I found enjoyable and an interesting distraction from the somewhat rompy plot. 

Speaking of, I hope people weren’t too shocked. I didn’t find it that shocking, I just found it … open in ways other books aren’t. It’s constantly like, yeah, let’s go there, let’s open this door. I respect that. I admire it. It’s irresistible. I don’t know if it is feminist in the traditional sense of the word (though I hesitate to put parameters on that word), but it certainly expands upon a favorite topic of mine: complex, sexually aggressive women. More of that, please.

I can see the comparisons to Tom Ripley and Vicky Sharpe, but honestly, Judith feels like her own new thing. Is it wrong to say I relate to her? That I enjoyed watching her succeed? She channels that massive chip on her shoulder into getting exactly what she wants whatever the cost. It’s kind of impressive.

Maestra isn’t particularly profound, but it is profoundly entertaining. I can’t wait to read more, if for nothing else than the author’s expertise on a subject I love. Many individuals in the art world are - to quote a colleague of mine who spent years in the gallery business - “snooty,” and Hilton completely challenges that notion by creating a female character who is not only badass but also super, super emotionally into art. I loved it.

Maestra on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Carrie

5 stars. I can't believe it's taken me so long to read this King - out of all the Kings - but I'm making my way through his repertoire at a slow pace so I can savor his books. Obviously, Carrie is amazing, and I loved it. I read it in one day and the whole time I was just like, yup, classic.

Carrie, of course, is about a teenage girl named Carrie White (the names in this book are really interesting), struggling under the terrifying influence of her intensely religious mother. Bullied and basically ignorant, Carrie attempts to grow and navigate puberty while harboring a remarkable and powerful secret skill. After being targeted by a cruel plot, she goes on an explosive and bloody rampage marking the town forever.

I think it's fairly well-known that this was King's first published novel (the fourth he'd written), and it's full of hints of what's to come. (TBH, I was looking for the hints because I'm obsessed with patterns and recurring motifs.) He plays around with themes he'd continue to explore for the duration of his career; small towns, masculinity, femininity, obsession, religious mania, youth, innocence, sexual awakening, sexual repression, bullying, etc.; in a deft and experimental way that's frankly really genius.

It occurred to me, as I turned the pages of a scene in which a 16-year-old girl gets her period for the first time in a high school locker room and is immediately mocked and pelted with pads and tampons, that King took something very preposterous and made it seem very reasonable and realistic. His attempt to capture the female psyche is so vivid and painful - maybe not right, exactly, but it's very vivid.

Along those lines, I won't attempt to poke at some of the feminist and religious messages in Carrie, but I didn't read this looking for that sort of thing. Carrie is just plain weird, and fascinating, and fun, and funky, and disturbing. It doesn't go quite as deep or as wide as some of his others, but it's distinctly King-ish and worth a read.

I've written before about how reading King is kind of a magical experience: you're like WTF is going on, but you can't stop or look away, and finishing is hugely satisfying until you kind of sit back and think about it and go WTF did I just read?! But that's part of the charm and what makes him so impressive. It's why I keep coming back for more.

Carrie on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Fates and Furies

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

3 stars. Well, this book is certainly memorable. It certainly has a lot to say.

The writing is unusual and strange and even harsh at times. The characters don’t behave as expected. It’s unique - which sounds like a cop-out observation, but truly, it’s different. And it accurately represents, I think, how relationships are woven - often painfully - into the fabric of your identity. The characters are compellingly grotesque and each new chapter brings a new deep dive into their utter selfishness. It’s pretty fascinating.

But Fates and Furies is also … pretentious. It’s grandiose. The symbolism is heavy-handed and the story is weighed down. Purple prose? Perhaps. I’d describe it as try-hard. Listen, Shakespeare should be referenced. He should inform modern writing. But Groff simply wouldn't let me, as a reader, forget her knowledge of his works.

I feel like I should have a lot more to say about this book than I do. Fates and Furies is interesting and affecting to a certain degree. I’m eager to see how its studied in the future. There’s a lot to unpack and a lot to appreciate. But ultimately, for me, it’s only deserving of 3 stars.

Fates and Furies on: Amazon | Goodreads